I didn’t get into Baruch’s MFE program. It was a stretch by all measures of the imagination, but you know, some things just were not meant to be.

I recently earned second place in a FITSSFF cooking contest for a take on the Pioneer Woman/Smitten Kitchen “ranch rugelach”. That was awesome. I promise to post the recipe soon!

I’m currently rather unwell at the moment; it’s just a cold, but the blockage doesn’t help me fall asleep.

I’m currently in Tampa, bracing myself for a week of dealing with Adam’s family.

I’m feeling very disconnected and fearful. I feel like I’m hurtling towards the edge of a chasm and can’t get the bridge to drop on time. The real world, with its lack of job applications, seems like a scary place. It’s telling when a liberal President wants to get rid of a government organization that hires scientists and engineers. And with the competition for jobs the way it is, it’s hard to put myself out there as a mathematician when I’m competing with engineers who would need less training. At the same time, graduate school doesn’t really appeal to my personality. I don’t want to think of my degree as a waste of time - I love studying mathematics, and applications for my knowledge do excite and entice me. But does the rest of the world realize the use of the knowledge I’ve gained?

In happier news, I’ve preordered my copy of Pokemon Heart Gold and it should be in my hands in about a week. I’m insanely excited about this - I love the surprising depth of the Pokemon series as a strong, well executed JRPG, and the Gold/Silver/Crystal series were among the best of them.

Modeling is difficult, since “real world” models never work simply algebraically, but it’s so interesting and different that I can’t complain. Parallel Processing is also not simple, but I’m getting a lot of help and powering through. My research seminar is based on a paper that uses a differential equation model.

I have applied for many jobs now, and applied to graduate schools as well. It’s a waiting game from here. I need to find the energy and will to power through and continue to work hard and do well.

I have been taking more photographs lately; I’ll work on uploading those later.

I have recently invested in a ten inch removable bottom fluted tart pan and a cupcake pan. Hopefully we’ll see those come into use sooner rather than later.

Adam and I now cook lunch at home; simple pastas and salads from what’s available. It’s been quite an adventure and has already saved me more than $30 a week! We’re eating a lot more vegetables now, as well. Adam (as an on campus student) is obliged to participate in the student food plans; he currently has one that is all “cash” for the student grocery system. Last week we got yellow squash, zucchini, snap peas, carrots, and lettuce (along with some pork chops, spices, salad dressings, etc.); we’re getting some olives, canned corn, bell peppers, onions, and a few other goodies today for Cuban style picadillo. The system’s not perfect, and the quality (especially with meat) is sometimes disappointing, but it’s fairly inexpensive and certainly the most useful thing to do with the money.

Speaking of vegetables, Adam and I are thinking of going vegetarian for our Lenten obligation. We would still eat cheese and I’d still use butter in my baking dishes. But we’ve cut down on our meat-eating significantly already, and I can’t have eggs anyway. The main challenge I think will be finding ways to get protein in our diets. Any suggestions?

The Olympics are coming up! I always get Olympic fever when it arrives. This year should be particularly exciting and wonderful. Can’t wait!

(As a reference, that is my pretty pink DS Lite, which may be one of the most feminine things I own.)

When a person gets into origami, the Kawasaki rose is one of the first things that comes up. It’s a very famous fold, with myriad creative remakes, and notoriously difficult to diagram and explain. I own the “sourcebooks” for the rose: Kasahara’s Origami for the Connoisseur, which advertises itself as the first book specifically for advanced paperfolders, and Roses, Origami, and Math, which is one of the few Kawasaki books translated to English.

It took poring over those books over many years, Dan of Toasters’s illustrated guide, and a few graduate students at FIT to show me how to fold these. The results are pretty exciting, and rather lovely, even before truly mastering it. One day I’ll elegantly curl the petals like on the covers on the books I own though!

One day I will master the “angled” form of this rose, which is much fuller and more natural-looking. This time last year, I had figured out the “rose bud” from ROM, which is even stiffer and straight lined than these. I feel like I’m really improving, and that’s something to really be proud of.

PLACES TO GO (take pictures!)
* Rockefeller Plaza
* Bronx Zoo
* New York Aquarium
* Chinatown (Elizabeth Street Mall, Canal Street)
* Brearley
* Cunningham Park
* Times Square
* Union Square (Greenmarket, Holiday Market)
* Central Park
* Bryant Park
* NYPL

THINGS TO EAT
* Dim sum
* Bubble tea
* Filipino barbecue
* Pizza
* Bagels (with cream cheese and lox!)
* Dumplings
* Nuts 4 Nuts honey roasted peanuts (fresh!)
* Street gyros
* Teriyaki Boys Beef Bowl
* Chinatown Ice Cream Factory ice cream

THINGS TO STUDY
* C (for Parallel Processing)
* Origami
* Books for Monsters elective

PRESENTS TO BUY
* Sister’s birthday
* Sister’s Christmas
* Mom’s Christmas
* Dad’s Christmas
* Adam’s Christmas

FAMILY
* Marry Adam
* Give birth to our son
* Give birth to our daughter
* See our children get educated
* See our children get married to people they really, truly love
* Resolve things with my sister
* Meet my sister’s boyfriend
* Meet our nieces and nephews
* Meet our grandchildren
* Meet our great-grandchildren

MATHEMATICS/CAREER
* Graduate cum laude by May 2010
* Receive a Master’s in some form of applied mathematics
* Work in the national defense industry (includes federal government work)
* Teach someone mathematics
* Mentor someone in math or industry
* Write someone’s recommendation

HOBBIES
* Fold a Kawasaki rose from memory by January 2010
* Send a thousand cranes to Hiroshima
* Design and diagram an original origami piece
* Go freshwater fishing
* Catch a saltwater game fish
* Develop a self-sustaining freshwater aquarium
* Develop a saltwater aquarium with live coral
* Get scuba certified
* Spend a year taking a photograph every week
* Perform as a soloist before a large audience
* Master the mountain dulcimer
* Write an original music piece
* Bake my own bread
* Create an eggless cheesecake
* Create an eggless ice cream
* Perfect my apple pie
* Perfect my pork adobo
* Perfect my moro rice
* Roast a whole pig
* Blog daily for a month
* Take a D&D (4E) character from Level 1 to Level 30
* DM a Level 1 to Level 30 campaign
* Beat Ancient Domains of Mystery
* Beat Nethack
* Beat Borderlands
* Beat Final Fantasy games at least once: I through IX, Crisis Core, Tactics, Dissidia
* Play Left 4 Dead 2 on Realism-Expert and survive

RELIGION
* Teach someone about Catholicism
* Give my skills to a Catholic community
* Spend a year going to confession every week
* Visit the Vatican
* Donate a major gift to the church

LANGUAGES/CULTURES
* Learn Tagalog
* Learn Spanish
* Become capable of reading the majority of mathematics papers
* Learn C by May 2010
* Visit China
* Visit Japan
* Visit Singapore
* Visit the Philippines
* If legal in my lifetime, visit Cuba
* Cross the Mississippi
* See the Rockies
* Visit Hawaii
* Visit Italy
* Go to the Summer Olympics
* Go to the Winter Olympics
* Go to the World Cup

MONEY
* Build a house to raise our family in
* Give a major gift to FIT’s mathematics program
* Give a major gift to Brearley’s mathematics program
* Sponsor someone (non-family) to be more educated
* Retire comfortably off my own savings
* Leave something useful to my children
* Spend a year debt free, including student loans, mortgage, and credit cards

HEALTH
* If safe in my lifetime, get allergy shots for poultry, pets, dust mites
* Be under 150 lbs
* Spend a year walking outdoors 3x a week
* Sex daily (with Adam) for 30 days (including during Girlweek, mind you!)
* See Adam truly resist the temptation of pornography
* Eat five servings of vegetables a day for 30 days
* Drink six glasses of water a day for 30 days
* Grow my own fruit to eat
* Grow my own herbs to use

1) Games I’ve become obsessed with.
In chronological order: Plants vs. Zombies, Dissidia: Final Fantasy, Borderlands, Left 4 Dead 2, Monster Hunter Freedom Unite, and Scribblenauts (a Christmas present). Oh, and I’m still playing D&D, just not DMing much at all.

2) Graduate school/job applications.
I’m applying to three graduate schools (FIT, SUNY Stony Brook, CUNY Baruch) and applying for employment at the NSA and Johns Hopkins’ APL. I’m doing math finance at Stony Brook and Baruch, modeling/simulation work at NSA/APL, and of course the standard applied math degree at FIT.

3) Origami improvements.
With thanks to a few graduate students at FIT, I can finally attempt to make Kawasaki roses!

4) Baking goodies.
I have a *killer* apple pie recipe, complete with homemade all-butter crust, that I made for the future in-laws this past Thanksgiving. I also have a delightful Snickerdoodle recipe, and am about to test a slightly silly variant of it for an upcoming Christmas party. I have also discovered the best kitchen gadget to own when you don’t have the money to spend on a stand mixer or a food processor - more on that later.

5) Life things.
I’ve learned a lot about myself this semester. I’ve also figured out that life, like math, is one of those things in which the more you learn, the more you realize you don’t know.

Kawa

I’ll add to this when I have the time and energy, but until then, have this link.

4-5 bananas
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. ginger
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1.5 cups all purpose flour

Preheat oven to 475 F. Grease a loaf pan or 9″ cake pan.

In a large bowl, smash bananas with a fork or pastry blender. Add sugar, mix well. Add spices, mix well. Add flour, mix well. (Yes, this batter is fairly thick.) Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 35 minutes or until a tester comes out clean. Let cool in pan for at least 15 minutes before serving. If you really like it warm, put it in the toaster.

This keeps well in fridge or freezer, wrapped tightly in aluminum foil.

So check me out over there: kawamath.wordpress.com